As a holistic health coach I’m constantly coaching ladies on taking the next step in their health and wellness journey, while enhancing their life purpose. So often the ladies have questions regarding who can accompany and support them on their journey. Oftentimes the people who were there at the beginning of the journey are not necessarily the people at a later stage in the journey.
When I started my journey as a holistic health coach I didn’t anticipate connecting with all of the different types of people all around the world that I have had the pleasure of knowing and learning from. As I grew along my journey, I’ve gained some relationships which help me to flourish. I’m not sure if I ever would have formed those relationships had I decided to remain stagnant. I’ve also discontinued relationships that were not mutually beneficial and leading me nowhere significant.
Making the Cut: Who Belongs in your Circle, and Who Doesn’t
Because my values differ from yours I prefer not to tell you specifically who to allow in to your circle and who to discontinue a relationship with. But I can tell you which things I look for in people, when I’m growing and which type of people I prefer to be around me. First of all, I prefer to connect with people who are also willing to do the work necessary to grow and this doesn’t necessarily mean quickly. Growth is a one-step-at-a-time process and sometimes different obstacles either speed up or slow down growth. For example, during the first two years of my son’s life I was asked multiple times if I would like to move up into a management position within the company I was working for. Even though I was fully qualified I chose not to because with the way the job was structured it meant that I would have to take more time away from being present with my family. Some people told me that I was growing too slowly within the company because I was not stepping into a manager role. I thought, however, that I was moving at a pace just right for me and I felt good about it. I was even able to flourish within that role so much that I earned a higher salary (even higher than some people in a management role) and was able to work hours that worked best for my lifestyle at the time.
Secondly, I prefer to connect with people who are secure within themselves. What do I mean by that? We all have insecurities right? What I’m referring to when I mention a person being secure within themself is that the individual is willing to be in a relationship with someone who may be more proficient than them in an area(s). One of the things I used to love about that corporate job is that I had plenty of opportunities to attend conferences and events that allowed me to learn more about how to be effective in my role and to grow as a person. Today, as an entrepreneur I often surround myself with people who know more than I do and have greater experience than I do so that I can learn new ways of doing things. I prefer to not be the sharpest tool in the toolbox as I’m expanding my knowledge and way of doing things. The greater the number of people I surround myself with who embrace learning from more experienced individuals the more likely my personal network of positive, like-minded purpose-driven individuals also increases. If a person is content with the knowledge they have, or threatened by someone else who appears to have more knowledge than them, then chances are that a relationship with them may quickly turn toxic, and no one needs toxicity in their life.
Finally, I prefer to connect with people who enjoy being adventurous with their thoughts (thinking outside of the box), transparent and communicate openly with one another. Does this mean that we always need to agree on every topic? No. It definitely doesn’t and as a matter of fact I would be bored if everyone around me only talked about things I have knowledge about. It would also be boring to communicate with people who never made mistakes. As a free-spirited adventurous soul I think I’d find you MUCH more interesting if you actually did make mistakes (maybe even a lot of mistakes), because I’d probably find you more fun and engaging to be around (haha).
None of these criteria may match your internal value system or ALL of these criteria may match your value system. Whomever you choose to allow into your personal space is completely up to you. We probably mostly attract people who are similar to us. But we also attract people who are dissimilar to us because we both need each other’s gifts, experiences or life perspectives to help us grow. Again, choose who you prefer to stay in your closest inner circle for the long and short term. People are in our lives for a reason, season or lifetime.
Always remember that who you are today, who you were in the past, and who you are in the future will sometimes be dictated by external circumstances beyond your immediate control. However, YOU and only YOU have the choice to be true to yourself. Don’t allow people to dictate what is right for you when they probably have no clue what is even right for themselves. Therefore, if it feels right to allow some folks to roll with you into your next chapter then maybe it’s the right thing to do. If it feels inauthentic then maybe it’s not the right thing to do. In either case life is a beautiful gift and ALL people have something of value to give to you even if you don’t know how to acknowledge it yet.
Thanks for reading!
Share with fam or a friend who sometimes has trouble deciding who to take to their next level. I’d love to grow with you and am inviting you into my Nutrition 4 Busy Women Facebook group if you’d like to connect with me and other purpose-driven women in this season of your life.
You are UNIQUE and have GREATNESS within you! I’d love to know what your unique gifts are! Share them in the comments section below if you know what they are. If not, comment and say “I’d love to learn more about my gifts!” and I’ll give you an assessment tool from my 30-Day Be More Career Development online course that millions of purpose-driven women have used and are now making better life decisions as a result of being more self-aware.
To Our Health & Happiness,
P.S. Don’t forget to check out stories from purpose-driven women in my circle of LOVE by listening to how they were once overwhelmed, STUCK women and were able to turn their tribulations into beautiful triumphs (Apple Users Click Here and Android Users Click Here). YOU can too. I believe in you!