“Love is just a word until someone comes along and gives it meaning.” -Paulo Coelho
As a holistic healthy lifestyle coach who coaches women on how to thrive in their purpose and create a body and lifestyle they love I can’t help but to notice that we sometimes toss around this word “love” without displaying the actions that go along with it. We all do it. I do it. You do it. Again, we all do it. Sometimes we even have distorted images and fantasies about what love is. Some people assume that it is the image of having two children, a spouse, a white picket fence, a dog, and a grandma who babysits so that you can have ongoing candle-lit dinners and couple excursions. Others believe that it is more about feeding starving children, volunteering at homeless shelters, or raking leaves for the elderly lady who lives across the street. Many others even believe that love is mostly conditional and that unconditional love rarely exists.
I think that it really doesn’t matter what we think the term love means if we’re unwilling to express it wholeheartedly. I think the strongest indicator of pure love is when we give or serve others without expecting anything in return. If we receive something back in return it can be perceived as a bonus. But I believe that genuine love is not about counting the number of times someone can do something for you or the number of times we can get rewarded for showing it. If we’re displaying love so that we can get an accolade, trophy or medal for the act was it genuine to begin with? Only you know the answer to that.
My closest friends show love just by thinking about me in a special way, being a listening ear, and also by telling me if an act I engaged in was unwise. I can usually pick up on their direct and indirect messages without a lot of in-person communication. This type of bond doesn’t necessarily just happen overnight in many people’s case. Sometimes my clients ask me how they can find supportive friends who truly love them and want to see them flourish into their best selves. I’ll answer that question for you today just in case you’re wondering too? But before I do, allow me to backtrack on a friendship I had that I lost because I was so busy chasing the societal norms of starting a family and pursuing a career in my 20’s that I forgot to keep in touch with the relationship.
The Lesson in Losing a Good Friend
This friend that I’m referring to is someone that I used to hang out with in high school and the early years of college. She was also a strong confidant and someone who I could tell my deepest thoughts to and I knew that I wouldn’t be judged. She was the type of friend that anyone would be honored to have. But I let too much time slip away without remaining in contact and over time we actually lost all contact. To this day, I have no way of getting in contact with her because we don’t have any current mutual friends that I know of.
However, I learned that no matter how busy life gets that I need to keep in contact with my closest friends who have always genuinely supported me. We don’t need to speak every day or even every week. Most of us are busy with our families and can usually pick up where we left off the next time that we speak, no matter how much time has gone by. But my intention is to maintain at least some level of communication on an ongoing basis, even if it’s just a quick text to let them know that I’m thinking about them.
Having said that, I believe that some relationships are for a reason, season, or lifetime and not all of them need to be prioritized the same, particularly if they’re making absolutely no effort nor desire to reach out and communicate. I have recently discontinued conversation for just a season with certain relationships in order to grow in a certain area of my life. But it is a necessary absence for deeper spiritual reasons than just being too busy to speak. Plus, I wouldn’t avoid them if they reached out to me. My friendship with my previous friend was totally different. She actually reached out to me and I kept ignoring her due to being “busy” with trivial life demands.
Identifying Genuine People
Anyway, let me get back to how to find friends who truly show love. You can visit an online site like meetup.com to meet people in your local community, if you’re in the United States, for example. I’ve created a meet-up group of my own and have met great people this way. But I’ve also found that people who value serving mankind in a genuine manner will often naturally draw toward places that express genuine love. Does that mean that everyone in that environment will demonstrate pure love? No, of course not! However, I think that as we mature we can identify those who are really about expressing love outwardly and those who just want a trophy, accolade or award for being noticed. Sometimes you can find these people in spiritual or religious communities or volunteering their time at certain events or institutions. Sometimes it’s just listening to what comes out of their mouth when they speak. Do their words match up to their actions or are they all talk? Again, as you sit back and observe you’ll be able to discern if you really want to.
Today, I’m going to make it really simple for you to find one community that truly supports one another and expresses genuine love and that is my Nutrition 4 Busy Women Facebook group. I carefully select who I allow into my community because I want to maintain the quality of the group. In this community you will find women who are purpose-driven, are positive-minded, and desire to see other grow even if they’re not where they’d like to be in their own lives. I’d love for you to join us as well and invite friends who desire a community of women that will also help them create a life full of meaning, fulfillment, and purpose!
Lastly, if you have not had an opportunity to listen to my YouTube or Podcast series where I highlight women’s success stories from all around the world please do so by clicking here if you’re an Apple mobile device user and click here if you are an Android device user. Those are just a few ladies I’ve collaborated with in one way, shape or form and are open to building a genuine friendship with you if you’d like.
Thanks for reading!
To Our Health & Happiness,
Ebonie
xoxo
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